My Small Deal with Myself

Doug’s audacious challenge to face the blank page nudged me to take up My 500 Words. In a nutshell, it’s a challenge to write 500 words every day for 31 days. That’s it.

Sure, 500 words. I can do that.

So, what’s the big deal, and why am I doing this?

I’ll start with the why.

2014 was a year of changes, some daunting, some fairly routine. All good. But they have left me feeling strung out and fuzzy. Not clear about some basic things. Like who I am.

Well, one thing I know for sure is I’m a writer. But I’m a writer who has lost focus. This requires intervention. Reminders that this is what I do. Write. Whatever it is. Write it down. Capture it before it’s gone. Like time.

It’s like this:

Before drifting to sleep last night, I dreamt a poem. 
I was so sure of it, I didn’t write it down. 
It was clear, pure, and strong. 
Now it is gone.

Leaves leave, fly away fly away. 
Words disperse if not on a page.

Throughout my life, I have always run to writing when the world is too much for me. But rather than simply my go-to coping mechanism, I’d rather strengthen the writing muscles for daily use.

I am participating in this particular challenge because I have admitted to myself that right now I need the accountability to be the writer I am. “Hi, my name is Kelly, and I am a writer.” I need the ongoing support to keep embracing this reality. I need to be part of a community of individuals who are also striving to keep track of themselves in this way.

Now the first part, what’s the big deal? Many of my fellow 500 Words writers have clear goals, truly big deal objectives like finishing a book, launching a blog, making an important impact on the world. I have nothing like that. Not this time around. I have done various versions of the NaMo’s (National write-something Months) over the past few years, and shared a boatload of words publicly from these efforts. I am unlikely to share much of what I write from these daily 500, other than this bit today.

Because there is no big deal here. It’s a small deal. It’s a daily deal, a pay-attention-notice-the-details deal. It’s a deal with myself to honor the gifts of time and talent loaned to me by a giving God.

It’s about the process, not the outcome (thanks again Jeff Goins), and trusting there will be results… eventually.

For me writing is one of the most potent metaphors for life. Doug touched on this in his post, when he referred to the 365 “unwritten squares of opportunity.” Every word a choice, every moment a chance to be more of who we were made to be, to grow in relationship, to give up or give back, to make new, to refresh the old, to be wiser, to be foolish, to laugh, cry, bake a pie, run ahead, look behind.

It’s a busy old life.  Let’s write about it. Join us?


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